Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
