So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
