I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
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