If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
