did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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