I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I smell like Dick and happiness
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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