Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
