They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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