i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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