Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Randomize
