i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
