you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
