if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
