I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
