Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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