i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
