Your tits are I can't wait for
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
