So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
