Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
