There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
