I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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