I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
