haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
