Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
