he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
