Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
