opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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