Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
