I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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