it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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