TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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