I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
