Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Buhtt sex?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
