We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
