It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
