she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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