did you get engaged???
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
