Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
