Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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