how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
