is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
