I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
