oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
