I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
