i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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