yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
