i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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