wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
