im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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