you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
