She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
