Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
