love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
