My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm passing your future prison.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
