The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
