these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
